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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408795">metanoia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughsuzie/pseuds/ughsuzie'>ughsuzie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Are They Tho?, Coming of Age, Everybody is Alive, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), I mean masters, I wrote it out of pure need to be happy again, I'll wing it and see what happens, Jocasta nu is the cool librarian, Mace Windu is proud of his ridiculous padawan, Multi, OC is very tired, Platonic Soulmates, Poor kids, We Die Like Men, Yikes, don't expect anything revolutionary, flirting with a droid, how to raise a toddler, it's okay it's the force, jedi!maul, kind of gay things, light stabbing, making friends through explosions, maul needs hugs and therapy, maybe a smut but I'd rather not, neither of them would want to be in love but too bad for them, oc loves her dads, she loves her padawan, tea and depression, teenage oc is scary y'all, unproblematic maul but also quite problematic, yaddle gives oc sweets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:40:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughsuzie/pseuds/ughsuzie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She was aware she felt too much, but it didn't make it easier. She wanted to think instead. To be mindful of her emotions. Then grief, fears, and tears would be silent. So would she, a stupid Padawan with ridiculous dreams who never learns. </p><p>An AU with Original Characters. Coming of age story where this stupid Padawan with ridiculous dreams doesn't only have to grow up, but grow herself into something new.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darth Maul/Original Female Character(s), Jedi Character(s) &amp; Jedi Padawan Character(s), Mace Windu &amp; Jedi Padawan Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Original Female Character(s), Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Shaak Ti/Luminara Unduli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Mace Windu Fandom Safe Space</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>metanoia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cream sand started fading into dark blue. The sun was still on the horizon, spreading the last golden rays. However, Saffie's eyes were not adjusted to the brightness, so again, she covered her face with her arm. When it was not helpful enough, she turned her head and her eyes laid on the first, closest figure.</p><p> </p><p>There stood a man that was observing the sun, as it was slowly hiding from every creatures’ eyes, to be replaced by its sister - the moon. He remained in that position for the next few minutes, almost looking like he was hoping that he was able to stop the sun from its disappearance.</p><p> </p><p>Saffie focused on the shadow of the man. It was almost melting into the darkness. She could still tell what shape it was, thanks to the horns. On the wall they resembled a crown.</p><p> </p><p>Her Master’s head was crowned with a ring of small horns. Some of them were already broken, like the ones on his temples and brow round. Saff never actually cared for her Master’s head, but now it seemed to be the most fascinating thing.</p><p> </p><p>Especially on a planet like this. Merokia happened to be the most boring and pointless place Saff ever visited. Even the colour of the sand was unremarkable. There were planets that were covered in purple, red, and orange. This one was just beige.Saffie hated every single piece of this planet. She was shocked by her own feelings. There was no place that made her feel so dejected. And yet, here she was. Four days were already enough, like the planet gave her everything it had to offer. Maybe Saff wasn’t the only one downhearted. <em>No, no, quite contrary</em></p><p> </p><p>Her Master was thriving here. Every step was like a new sensation. When Saffie looked at a sand mountain, she saw nothing but harsh sand. When Vanen, her Master, looked at it, he saw a mystery worth solving. Whenever a Padawan was questioning their destination, her Master was saying that the only thing that mattered was the journey. In different circumstances, Saff would admit that he was right. But not about Merokia. Not about stupid, beige sand that was rough, harsh, and getting everywhere.</p><p> </p><p>„Is Merokia similar to Iridonia?” asked Saff, brushing off sand from her boots. It did not do much. A new grain of sand covered her shoes and skirt.</p><p> </p><p>„Yes and no.”</p><p> </p><p>„I love when you are so descriptive, Master.”</p><p><br/>
„That’s what you get when every answer of yours in a test is „the Force”. A genuine smile appeared on his face. It was indeed a good memory. He used to hate checking Saffie’s test or even asking her basic questions. Every answer would be somehow connected to the Force. Why does a speeder fly so close to the ground? <em>The Force</em>.What’s an atmosphere? <em>The Force</em>. Why are you answering everything with the Force? <em>The</em> <em>Force</em>. Quite annoying, if you asked him. He wasn’t mad at his Padawan anymore, though. At least he had some hilarious stories to tell other Masters.</p><p> </p><p>A heavy sigh distracted the Jedi Master. Frown lines appeared on Zabrak’s face. It was truly a strange sound, like a sigh made by a grumpy, old man. But the peculiarthing was that this sound came from his apprentice, an eighteen-years-old girl. Vanen could sense how Saffie despised this planet. But he presumed that soon she would have to reconsider her opinion.</p><p> </p><p>„It’s time,” he muttered.</p><p> </p><p>„What- For what?” she asked nervously, after she stood up quickly from an enormous, brown rock. For the first time in four days she felt that something would finally change. They would no longer have to wobble around anymore. Oh, and she was <em>eager </em>to move. So eager, that she seemed to lead herself and her Master.</p><p> </p><p>They passed by a small, abandoned house or what was left of it. The building was made of clay. There was no wall that was untouched by destruction. Every side of this house was riddled with holes. Cracks were in all places. The sight of the building was frightening. So were the screams. Saffie didn’t hear them before, even though they were both standing next to the house for some time.</p><p> </p><p>But this place was crowded with different states and emotions. Master and his Padawan could sense fear, sorrow, and grief, but also love and compassion. And… Something else, something undead.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Play with me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Saffie turned around jerkily. Her eyes immediately widened, so did her lips. It was a brand new feeling. A brand new sensation, but she was unable to decode it. She heard something, someone. It was a voice, but she perceived this in a different manner.</p><p> </p><p>„Did you hear it?” she asked anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>Her Master did not seem to be as stunned as his apprentice. He was mostly fascinated by her and her reactions.</p><p> </p><p>„What is it?” he asked, while keeping an eye on her. He knew that face, he knew her heart, he knew her movements. She seemed to be disconnected from the materiality. Yet she stood there, with her mind penetrating every part of the universe.</p><p> </p><p>„I- I think… I’m not sure-” <em>Play with me</em>. Again. The voice. A voice of a child. It was like an echo in her head. „It’s a child. I can hear-” <em>Play with me</em>.</p><p> </p><p>„It wants to play. You don’t hear it, do you?”</p><p> </p><p>He shaked his head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Now, it gets a little more interesting.</em>
</p>
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